Whether the decision to break up was mutual, you got dumped or you decided to move on, there are still many ways in which you can make things harder for yourself after it’s done.
If you can’t move on quickly, you should at least try to stay away from worst ways to handle a breakup. From getting angry at your ex and deciding you hate him to wallowing in self pity or drowning your sorrows in alcohol, here are the worst decisions you can make after a breakup.
Losing Yourself in Wallowing
Everyone deals with breakups differently, but it’s risky to spend too much time dwelling on it. You can take a few days to just be sad about it, but you should focus on making progress in your recovery process. If you wallow in it for a long time, you’re actually risking slipping into depression. Focus on the lessons you learned from the relationship and moving forward.
Hurting your ex for something he did to you willingly or unwillingly might seem like a great idea when you’re really angry, but it can have long term consequences. Don’t stoop to his level and continue to treat others the way you’d want to be treated. Revenge is one of the worst ways to handle a breakup because it won’t help you get over it faster, it might actually keep you attached for longer.
Staying Friends with Benefits
If you want to move on from the relationship, don’t keep having sex with your ex. It’s can be an unhealthy way to stay connected, particularly if one of you didn’t want the relationship to end. Even if you just want a regular friendship, you should still take some time apart to process all the feelings. Trying to transition from a romantic relationship to a friendship quickly doesn’t really work for most people.
Finding Comfort in Food
Forget about the rom-com cliche of the ice cream bucket that will make you feel better after a painful breakup. It’s actually one of the worst ways to handle a breakup, because you’ll end up regretting all those empty calories that will show up the next time you step on a scale. Try to work out to feel better, and you’ll be much better off in the long run.
Ignoring the Constant Reminders
You shouldn’t burn everything that reminds you of him, but storing them in a box until you decide to do with them is definitely a good idea. Remove any big mementos from your home and get some distance on social media as well. You don’t have to unfriend or unfollow your ex, but removing his posts from your timeline is a wise move.
More: How to Handle a Breakup on Social Media
Drowning Your Sorrows
One night of fun with your girlfriends can definitely help you out, but binge drinking isn’t the way to put the relationship behind you. Drinking alone is one of the worst ways to handle a breakup. If it happens more than once, ask your friends for support and spend time with them without any alcohol or drugs that only numb the pain temporarily.
Going on a Smear Campaign
It can be very tempting to bad mouth your ex to everyone you meet, offline and online, but it will also make you dwell on the relationship. Unless you genuinely think that he’s a danger to other women (from spreading STDs intentionally to being abusive), don’t make any negative public statements about your ex.
Asking for Special Treatment
Your friends and family should definitely support you, but one of the worst ways to handle a breakup is demanding that everyone walk on eggshells around you to protect your feelings long after it was over. Don’t become a victim and don’t overwhelm the people you love most with too much negativity.
Trying to Change Yourself to Get Him Back
While a makeover might be a good idea if you don’t rush into it, make sure that it’s something you want to do for yourself. If you make changes in the hopes of getting him back or just showing him what he missed, you’re giving him too much power over your life.
Rushing into a Rebound Relationship Right Away
If the relationship lasted for more than a few months, one of the worst ways to handle a breakup is to jump right into a new one. Take it slowly and don’t use the new relationship as a way of avoiding your feelings about the old one.